Im cold because I don’t want to turn the heat up cause I want to be able to pay the bill. I’m hungry because everyone eats my food. I’m tired because I work all day and bust my ass just to help out everyone else and get fucked over. I’ve lent thousands of dollars to people and they see how much I’m struggling but don’t give a fuck. I hate every single one of you. I’m going to bed hungry because I tried to do the right thing but you all could give two fucks about it. I’d bend over backwards for all of you just so I can sit here and cry in my beautiful house that I’ve spent so much money on just to be fucked over time and time again. There is no toilet paper in my bathroom so I can’t pee, and of course my roommates can’t buy it cause one lives for free and the other fails to realize the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent on groceries since he’s moved in. I have one cigarette left out of a pack that was given to me cause I can’t even afford my own cigarettes. Or.food. or toilet paper. Or anything. Everyone else has full stomach’s and a warm place to sleep. But not me. Of course not. You can say I’m just feeling sorry for myself but I don’t give a fuck. I have the right to. I walk to and home from work everyday in the fucking snow because I’m a stupid fucking person who decided to lend her money to people so they can have a better life instead of buying a car. And of course you all are comfortable right now. I’m sitting in my living room with my winter jacket on. If things don’t start looking up I’m seriously going to off myself. I hate everyone but most of all I hate myself for being so fucking selfless. I hate myself because I can’t afford toilet paper. But most of all, I hate all of you, for being all pieces of shit. And you can all live with it. I could never just fuck over people the way you do to.me and if I had the capability to hurt someone I’d kill all of you. But we all know I can’t do that because you’d give me some pathetic story about how hard your trying to keep your life together. I hate myself for the hundreds of dollars I wasted on drugs and friends that didn’t like me but only liked my wallet. I hate myself for.being so trusting. I hate myself because I’m wearing shoes two sizes to small to work cause I can’t buy my own tennis shoes. I hate that I’m alive right now. I hate myself, and I hate you.
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